Shame And Guilt
by ruiiko
Summary: After being questioned of who he really is, Jericho feels very shameful. This whole time, he's been residing at Titans Tower, a place where nobody knows who he really is. The son of Slade. An enemy of the Titans. Feeling sure that his friends would hate him for this well kept secret, his guilt works him up to a break down. And there's only one person who could truly understand.


**here, have some jerirae angst! Enjoy! :D**

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Raven didn't have to use her empathetic powers to know something was wrong with Joey.

The kind, sweet blonde boy she grew to love was far more quiet than he could ever truly be. Sure, he was mute, he couldn't talk, but today, this kind of quiet was a guilt kind of quiet. He avoided eye contact with everyone, including Raven. He would not sign anything to anyone, and the empath couldn't even connect to him via a mind link. He would not say anything, he did not do anything. Joey didn't even want to play his guitar today, and he loved to play! That was only the first thing that had worried Raven, but upon seeing the stressed expression on his face, the way he awkwardly shuffled through the tower to get away from everyone, the way he pushed his hair out of his face, raking his fingers through his hair with a silent sigh-Raven knew something was wrong.

"Joseph..." She sighed, after running into him. He was squirmy, and backed away from her in fear. That only made her more worried, and she took a step towards him. "Please, tell me what's wrong." She requested in a calm and soothing voice. Joey was never a fighter, and he always co-operated well with others, but in this moment, it seemed like he just didn't want to be around _anyone_ today.

However so, he lifted his head to gaze into her worried eyes. She could see tears well up, and she frowned agan to see him look away, before he turned and began to run. "Joseph!" She called out, stretching outwards, but he didn't stop. Something was _really _bothering him. The blonde was never one to get too sad-despite his disability, he was always smiling and cheerful, polite to others around him. However, his aura in this moment suggested grief, and guilt, and even shame.

The empath sighed, feeling sick to her stomache-she hated seeing him like this... and she wouldn't stand to see it any longer.

Dispersing into her soul self, Raven dissapeared through the floors, searching through Titans Tower. He wasn't in the living room with the rest of their friends, he wasn't ontop of the roof getting fresh air-the only place Raven could think to find him would be in his room. So, with hesitence coming to her, her soul self dispersed through the floors, until she was at her final stop.

And she was right.

Joey sat on the edge of his bed, his back hunched over and his face burried in the palms of his hands.

"Joey..." She sighed, as she maintained her physical form.

He jumped out of his state, and Raven could see the panic in his swollen red eyes, his shoulders heaving heavily with unheard breathes. His cheeks were bright red, and she quickly took notice of the tears still flowing down his cheeks. She had never seen him this upset before-she took a cautious step towards him, and his eyebrows curved down, as he bit down on his lip. "_What are you doing here?" _She stopped, his silent voice booming through her mind.

Raven paused. "I'm checking up on you-something is very wrong. I want to help you-"

_"I don't want any help." _His voice cut her off, and she looked into his eyes, the anger quickly turning back to regret. He dropped his head. _"No, I didn't mean that-I just... I don't know." _

Raven nodded. "I don't mean to intrude, but I hate seeing you like this." She admitted, taking a step towards him agin, still very cautious. When he did nothing to stop her, she gently sat down on the edge of his bed next to him, wrapping an arm around him. Instinctly, he leaned his head against her shoulder, burying his head in the crook of her neck. And she was warm, and so was he-Raven could feel his tear stained cheeks wet against her neck, but did nothing to stop him. Instead, she just held him close to her, rubbing small circles onto his shoulders to comfort him. He was quiet for the time being, and unless he wanted to talk, Raven would not force him to. He just needed... time. Time to sort out how he was feeling, and if he wanted to talk, Raven would be here to listen.

Once calmness, turned back into anguish, and Raven could feel him shaking. She could feel tears well up against her skin, and Joey was turning more towards Raven, wrapping his arms around her, holding her tightly. Raven's eyebrows twirled up, letting out a soft sigh. She wrapped her arms back around him, embracing him and shushing him gently against his ears. She lovingly stroked her fingers through his soft blonde curles of hair, and she could sense the guilt spreading through him, until he had finally broke down. "I've never seen you this upset before... what's gotten you so rattled?" She asked softly, and he lifted his head off her shoulder, his arms still wrapped tightly around her.

She smiled sadly as he looked at her, and she lifted a finger to wipe away his tears. His eyes were practically begging for her not to be mad, and for this, she could only worry more. "You think I am going to be mad?" She wondered, to which he nodded. She tilted her head. "Oh, dear, no... I could never. Why would you think so?"

He glanced away. "_Nobody else was particularily happy..." _

"About what?" She wondered, noticing just how much his cheeks flared up in embaressment.

That was when he pulled away from her completely, a dead serious look coming to his eyes, as he brushed the tears away. "_Do you promise you won't be mad?" _His eyes begged.

Raven took his hands in hers. "Of course."

_"You will not like what I have to say.." _Joey warned with a silent sigh, as he looked away.

Raven smiles slightly, as she gave his hand a gentle squeeze. With her free hand, she lifted it to his face, pressing a gentle touch against his cheek, gently forcing him to look back to her. She smiled symapthetically, gently rubbing the flesh of his cheek, and hand. "You know me better than anyone, and I know _you _better than anyone. You are a good person, so whatever you have to say... I'm not one to judge." She encouraged.

Joey pressed a hand against hers, which remained on his cheek. With a deep breathe, he forced himself to look into her eyes. _'I have been keeping it a secret from all of you... and, I told the others this secret recently. You... all of you... I mean... I've been staying under your roof for almost a year now, yet you guys hardly even know me. But... I don't want to keep this a secret any longer, because It's tearing me up inside. However so, I don't think the rest of your team mates were very happy to know that... I am the son of Slade." _He admitted, and held his breathe.

Raven was speechless. She dropped her hand from his cheek, and she could see the sheer look of horror spread across his face. _'Oh my god. I shouldn't have told you either, I-I-" _He stammered out, as he stood up on impulse, quickly backing away from her again. He knew all the terrible things his father had done to his team. He knew how he had turned Robin against his friends, he had heard tales of the girl named Terra, who had been confused, who didn't know how to control her powers, and when Slade got his hands on her, turned her against the Titans, as well, only for her to sacrifice herself to save the city.

And of course, he had heard all about the horrors he had done to Raven. Terrorizing her, chasing her down after making a contract with her demonic father, ripping her clothes off, dangling her off a tower and dropping her-and if it hadn't been for Robin, she wouldn't have been here right now.

He knew how bad his father was.

That was why it hurt so much-his father was the enemy to his friends. How could they even like Joey still, after knowing who he was? His guilt racked him, until he was a panicing mess, hyper ventilating, until he dropped down to his knees, clutching at his chest. Raven rushed to his side, pressing her hands against his shoulders to try and calm him. "Joey, Joey, Joey-" She called out, and forced him to turn and look at her. His breathing was hard, and the sweat was pouring. He reached out to her again, when the tears started to come into affect, and he was gripping at her to keep calm. "Please, just relax-It's okay! I'm not mad at you, but you need to relax-"

_"How can you be okay with this?!" _His mind screamed, and Raven paused, to see the guilt in his eyes. His lip quivered, but his breathe had calmed down, though Raven still sensed his heart was going speratic. _"After everything he's done? After everything he's done to __**you?" **_The blonde squeezed his eyes shut, and leaned against Raven again.

The empath let out a sigh, and she shook her head. She then pressed her hands against either side of his head, allowing her healing powers to take over, and attempt to calm his mind. She could sense his heart rate slowing down, and as he was already leaning his head against her, she used this as a chance to scoop him up into her arms, and gently hold him, while he calmed down. "I am not mad." She started. "I'm just... shocked, is all. I mean...you are nothing like your father, Joseph."

She could feel him shaking against her, but he said nothing. His mind was blank.

"And you have nothing to be ashamed of. As you know, I too have bad blood lines in my family... so how can I be mad? As for the other Titans, I am certain they're just shocked. But they know you're a good person, Joseph. Just like I know you are." Raven encouraged.

_"You really think so? I just-It's not easy living with this. He... he's the reason I am mute. He is the reason why my brother got himself killed, and it certainly doesn't help knowing that my sister still has ties with him. It's just not easy to live with, Raven." _He spilled. He remembered once, where his family was actually happy... but his father had always been an assisin, though maybe for a while he had tried to hide it from his family. But after the insident where Joey lost his voice, his family had just imploded, and it was crazy. Of course, the blonde never associated himself with his father, and it had been years since he had spoken to his sister. He had new friends now-a new _family-_a family who didn't even know who he truly was.

"I understand. And yes, I do think so. You've had so much to deal with in your life, but you're so resilliant, too. The good thing is that you aren't like your father, and blood lines don't always mean that certain people are your family. Fathers... should be kind. You and I are very alike in our family situations. However, I have defeated my own problem... and I am certain that you can leave Slade behind. You don't have to consider him your family-_we _are your family, now."

Joey looked up to her, and he smiled. He knew she was right... and he knew he could leave him behind, leave it all behind him. Maybe the others weren't too happy, and maybe later they would come around like Raven did. But for now, he was just lucky to have someone like Raven, because she understood, better than anyone. And she helped take the pain away, just by holding him, and listening.

He leaned against her again, closing his eyes. Raven just smiled, sensing he was alot more calmer now. Now that the storm had passed, she just held him close.

After a moment, a knock was heard on the door. Joey's eyes snapped open, and he looked up to Raven, their eyes connecting. With a sigh, they both stood up, and went over to the door. The blonde opened, to find the Titans surronding the door, all looking rather sympathetic. Raven stayed close to him, just incase.

Robin was the first to speak up. "Hey-about earlier," Raven clenched her fist a little. She knew just how impulsive the boy wonder could be, and given his past with Slade, she guessed it was more him over-reacting than the others. "We-I... We're sorry. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have over-reacted... I mean... we all know you're nothing like your father. And I was too quick to judge and get angry, so I'd like to apologize." He smiled, and Joey's eyes were wide.

Raven glanced up to the blonde, taking a step forward, putting a hand on his shoulder for support.

And he glanced down to her for a moment, before looking back up.

Tears swelled in his eyes, but these tears were tears of relief. He was so over come with emotion, so glad that his friends didn't hate him-he had no idea how to react.

But they knew. Somewhere along the lines, they just knew how happy he was in this moment.


End file.
